Dating a Bossy Girl

Does your girlfriend boss you around? Do you like her some of the time, love her once in a while, but hate to be with her when she is bossy? What brought you to this predicament?
Many people who breakup with a former lover or spouse often meet and even marry the first person they date before they are fully recovered from their breakup. If this happened to you, then you had no time to discover: who you were, what you wanted in a new partner, and who your new girlfriend really was.

It is easy to meet someone, feel some level of chemistry, and think you are in love. Especially when you are needy. Lots of projection of who you want her to be, denial of the obvious danger signs, and illusions happen when you feel abandoned and betrayed. It's a sad situation but a common human error that happens over and over. If you keep dating "bossy" or if you move on looking for another relationship, take a look at:

1. Running Away
Do you want to run away from the bossiness? If you leave any relationship suddenly, without talking it through with your partner, you will be walking through your life incomplete. You will take all the unresolved issues the two of you had and carry them into your next relationship. Find a counselor and do the work now. Learn everything you can. Take a look at who you are attracted to, what your relationship patterns are, and what parts of your parent's relationship you are recreating.

2. Problems with boundaries
Do you let other people boss you around? Do you understand boundaries and how to use them? If you are being bossed around, you may not grasp how you are allowing it. If your girlfriend won't go to counseling with you, go alone. This is how you save your next partnership before it begins.

3. Looking for Love
Do you put up with bossiness because you want to be loved? Almost everyone will sacrifice a lot of intolerable stuff in order to have a mate. Men are especially vulnerable to falling into another woman's arms right after a breakup. However, without down time and growth time, you will find you have fallen into the desperation trap. The point is this: your problems are not what SHE is doing to you. Your problems come from what YOU are not doing for you. Unfortunately, fear speaks louder than good sense. Fear of being alone can drive people to disastrous choices. Find the answers to what would make your life happy. Do this before you meet someone.

4. Defining your Life
Take a time out from being bossed and build a new foundation. You need to have a hold on the following: finances, career, health, friends, and a clear idea of your values. When these bricks are under you and you are excited about life, you will be able to choose someone who is right. Until then, you will be looking for someone to make you feel better.


When you meet someone and have a rush of good feelings, you may think you have found the answers to your problems. However, that rush wears off if you haven't handled your foundation. Then, you think your unhappiness is her fault. It's no one's fault, but it is your responsibility to get your life in order. It means that the path to your fulfillment is yours to travel.
Learn how to give yourself comfort, find friends to hang out with, and live your life in a way that makes you proud. Do the above-and no one can boss you around.

Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com Or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our Free Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)
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Dating Don'ts For Guys

The fact that guys can be fairly clueless on the first date is of no surprise to anyone. Everybody knows that men and women oftentimes don't understand each other, and it's really no surprise that men would be left with many first date questions. Do they let the girl make the first move, or should they go for it themselves? What exactly is it that women want on a first date? To figure this out, let's take a look inside a woman's mind.

The first thing you have to realize is that you're going to have to make sure that your date knows you are interested in them. Girls can have a tendency to get worried and think that you might not like them if you don't adequately show your interest, and this isn't something you want. The problem? Men and women display interest in completely different ways, and guys tend to try to show their interest in ways that girls don't take very well. You have to remember to put yourself in her shoes, and to help you with that, I'm going to go through some common mistakes men make on the first date.

We've established that girls want to be shown interest, but not just any kind will do. The first mistake a lot of guys make is to express that interest physically. Men are physical creatures, and sometimes we can forget that women are different. Look at it from her perspective: She wants to know that you genuinely have interest in her. Now, most all guys have some interest in her body, and if she gave them a chance, they'd express that. So if that's all you're doing, then she has no reason to believe that you have any more interest in her than any other guy, does she? As a general rule, girls aren't looking to get physical on a first date. Some, if the date is going very well, may decide that they would like to, but they'll generally drop you some hints if that's the case.

While we're on the topic of being physically oriented, it should also be mentioned that, as odd is it may sound, you can pay a girl too many compliments on the way she looks. You may love it if a girl constantly swooned over your body, your hair, and your clothes, but girls don't. Don't get me wrong. - Your date will appreciate it if you show her that you think she looks good by telling her this a time or two, and by keeping your eyes on her and off other ladies. But, if you go over-board, you're going to seem very physical, and she's going to get the impression that all you're noticing about her is her body.

Also make sure you keep the conversation away from past relationships. It never fails to surprise me how many men that think that by talking about a past girlfriend or how much they've been hurt before, they'll come across as caring and sensitive. You don't care about her ex-boyfriends, so why would she care about your past relationships either? The last thing a woman wants to hear about on your first date is other women. By talking about your past relationships you'll really only come across as whiney and melodramatic. Think about this. If you were at a dealership looking for a car, would you really want to hear about how many other people passed it up?

What I'm about to say should really be common sense to everyone, but a lot of men tend to do this anyway. Don't be negative! Don't whine, don't complain, and don't try to act cool by being brooding and pessimistic. Women are not attracted to it; no one is, in fact. It's quite easy to be trying to think up something funny to say and end up saying something negative about the food, or the service at your restaurant. - No woman wants to hear you complain, and you have to be quite witty to pull that off jokingly! Focus on how much fun you're having with your date, and even if you're having to wait a long time on your food, keep her entertained with your wit and charm.

Keep all of this in mind, and don't forget that it's up to you to take the initiative on the first date and let the girl know you're into her. Don't let her go back inside her house questioning if you want to see her again. Just make sure that, above all, you remember that men and women see things differently, and make sure that whatever you're doing to show her your interest is something that will actually make a positive impression on her.

Cole Carson is a successful internet marketer and entrepreneur. He specializes in the fields of nutrition and health, motivational literature, and marketing and business topics.

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