Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Your Ex is Dating Someone Else

After you have been dumped, it can be hard to get over your ex. You try hard to convince them to give you a second chance so when you are doing all this, it can be rather difficult to see them dating someone else, moving on in their life without you in it. You can either do first; you can fly off the handle like a nut or you can keep it together and try not to show any emotion about it. There are several tips to help you deal with this blow to your ego.

Remember to relax and take some deep breaths. You have to understand that this is not the end of the world. When a breakup occurs, it's normal for them to date other people. You may not see it but it really does help you. So keep calm about their dating other people.

Try to remember that ninety percent of those rebound relationships typically do not last. They are usually taken up to relief some stress. They are generally no connections there although you may think there is. Often times, these relationships end before they can really get started.

However, this relationship tends to be a way to relief the stress that comes along with a terrible breakup. It's also a chance for a person to pull himself back together. If your relationship was very serious, those feelings of passion and life don't just go away when times are hard. No, he or she may have dumped you because things got muddled and the bumps in the road were much easier to see then the better times. That doesn't mean he or she doesn't love you anymore. So what should you do to convince them to give you a second chance?

Give them some space they need to think. Let them live their lives without you for some time even if this means they are dating someone else. He or she still has feelings to get a grasp on. They need to feel like they can move on in life without you but you also want them to realize that like isn't worth living without you in it. Your ex can't do that with you around. He or she can feel this when they find themselves open to what people think of their flaws and problems.

While you are letting him or her work on their life, you can also do the same for you. You can work on yourself while they are doing the same. Before long, the agony of being without you is unbearable and having you back in their life sounds better than ever. If you want them to give you a second chance, make them see how important you are by not being there for them.

You don't have to put a lot of effort into getting their attention but date other people yourself. By dating other people, whether they know it or not; a way to soften them. Remember if you want them to give you a second chance, you need to show them how important you are from afar even though they're dating someone else now.

Teecee Go writes articles focusing on helping people save their marriage and anyone treasure relationship dearer. You can find helpful information at You can save your relationship sounds impossible? The fact is thousands have benefited by visiting
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Dating a Bossy Girl

Does your girlfriend boss you around? Do you like her some of the time, love her once in a while, but hate to be with her when she is bossy? What brought you to this predicament?
Many people who breakup with a former lover or spouse often meet and even marry the first person they date before they are fully recovered from their breakup. If this happened to you, then you had no time to discover: who you were, what you wanted in a new partner, and who your new girlfriend really was.

It is easy to meet someone, feel some level of chemistry, and think you are in love. Especially when you are needy. Lots of projection of who you want her to be, denial of the obvious danger signs, and illusions happen when you feel abandoned and betrayed. It's a sad situation but a common human error that happens over and over. If you keep dating "bossy" or if you move on looking for another relationship, take a look at:

1. Running Away
Do you want to run away from the bossiness? If you leave any relationship suddenly, without talking it through with your partner, you will be walking through your life incomplete. You will take all the unresolved issues the two of you had and carry them into your next relationship. Find a counselor and do the work now. Learn everything you can. Take a look at who you are attracted to, what your relationship patterns are, and what parts of your parent's relationship you are recreating.

2. Problems with boundaries
Do you let other people boss you around? Do you understand boundaries and how to use them? If you are being bossed around, you may not grasp how you are allowing it. If your girlfriend won't go to counseling with you, go alone. This is how you save your next partnership before it begins.

3. Looking for Love
Do you put up with bossiness because you want to be loved? Almost everyone will sacrifice a lot of intolerable stuff in order to have a mate. Men are especially vulnerable to falling into another woman's arms right after a breakup. However, without down time and growth time, you will find you have fallen into the desperation trap. The point is this: your problems are not what SHE is doing to you. Your problems come from what YOU are not doing for you. Unfortunately, fear speaks louder than good sense. Fear of being alone can drive people to disastrous choices. Find the answers to what would make your life happy. Do this before you meet someone.

4. Defining your Life
Take a time out from being bossed and build a new foundation. You need to have a hold on the following: finances, career, health, friends, and a clear idea of your values. When these bricks are under you and you are excited about life, you will be able to choose someone who is right. Until then, you will be looking for someone to make you feel better.

When you meet someone and have a rush of good feelings, you may think you have found the answers to your problems. However, that rush wears off if you haven't handled your foundation. Then, you think your unhappiness is her fault. It's no one's fault, but it is your responsibility to get your life in order. It means that the path to your fulfillment is yours to travel.
Learn how to give yourself comfort, find friends to hang out with, and live your life in a way that makes you proud. Do the above-and no one can boss you around.

Visit Or for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our Free Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)
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