Sunday, November 18, 2007

Dating Don'ts For Guys

The fact that guys can be fairly clueless on the first date is of no surprise to anyone. Everybody knows that men and women oftentimes don't understand each other, and it's really no surprise that men would be left with many first date questions. Do they let the girl make the first move, or should they go for it themselves? What exactly is it that women want on a first date? To figure this out, let's take a look inside a woman's mind.

The first thing you have to realize is that you're going to have to make sure that your date knows you are interested in them. Girls can have a tendency to get worried and think that you might not like them if you don't adequately show your interest, and this isn't something you want. The problem? Men and women display interest in completely different ways, and guys tend to try to show their interest in ways that girls don't take very well. You have to remember to put yourself in her shoes, and to help you with that, I'm going to go through some common mistakes men make on the first date.

We've established that girls want to be shown interest, but not just any kind will do. The first mistake a lot of guys make is to express that interest physically. Men are physical creatures, and sometimes we can forget that women are different. Look at it from her perspective: She wants to know that you genuinely have interest in her. Now, most all guys have some interest in her body, and if she gave them a chance, they'd express that. So if that's all you're doing, then she has no reason to believe that you have any more interest in her than any other guy, does she? As a general rule, girls aren't looking to get physical on a first date. Some, if the date is going very well, may decide that they would like to, but they'll generally drop you some hints if that's the case.

While we're on the topic of being physically oriented, it should also be mentioned that, as odd is it may sound, you can pay a girl too many compliments on the way she looks. You may love it if a girl constantly swooned over your body, your hair, and your clothes, but girls don't. Don't get me wrong. - Your date will appreciate it if you show her that you think she looks good by telling her this a time or two, and by keeping your eyes on her and off other ladies. But, if you go over-board, you're going to seem very physical, and she's going to get the impression that all you're noticing about her is her body.

Also make sure you keep the conversation away from past relationships. It never fails to surprise me how many men that think that by talking about a past girlfriend or how much they've been hurt before, they'll come across as caring and sensitive. You don't care about her ex-boyfriends, so why would she care about your past relationships either? The last thing a woman wants to hear about on your first date is other women. By talking about your past relationships you'll really only come across as whiney and melodramatic. Think about this. If you were at a dealership looking for a car, would you really want to hear about how many other people passed it up?

What I'm about to say should really be common sense to everyone, but a lot of men tend to do this anyway. Don't be negative! Don't whine, don't complain, and don't try to act cool by being brooding and pessimistic. Women are not attracted to it; no one is, in fact. It's quite easy to be trying to think up something funny to say and end up saying something negative about the food, or the service at your restaurant. - No woman wants to hear you complain, and you have to be quite witty to pull that off jokingly! Focus on how much fun you're having with your date, and even if you're having to wait a long time on your food, keep her entertained with your wit and charm.

Keep all of this in mind, and don't forget that it's up to you to take the initiative on the first date and let the girl know you're into her. Don't let her go back inside her house questioning if you want to see her again. Just make sure that, above all, you remember that men and women see things differently, and make sure that whatever you're doing to show her your interest is something that will actually make a positive impression on her.

Cole Carson is a successful internet marketer and entrepreneur. He specializes in the fields of nutrition and health, motivational literature, and marketing and business topics.

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Hor ny Ang Moh said...

Easy to say hard to do! I normally say 'woah u r beautifull'! Can't say too much about her physical or else she might think that u want to poke her only!
Have a nice day!

Ardor of the Hearts said...

Haha same problem as you. We dun even dare say ' woah u r beautiful' in Asia.

Maybe we can try writting love letters. The 'proven' way.

Haha I think should be love emails

Liza said...

hello! bloghopping from the viral linking meme. cheers!