Dating Dilemma - Should I Wait for Him to Call?

Dear Ronnie,

I have a dating dilemma that I could use your help with. I attended a speed-dating evening in August. When I received the “match” results, to my delight - the fellow I was MOST interested in had expressed interest in me! A few days later, I received a very nice e-mail from him asking if I’d “like to continue the conversation” I said yes, gave him my number and mentioned I’d be away on vacation the next week (which was last week.) He said he’d try to reach me at the end of that week.

Well, SURPRISE I haven’t heard from him and now almost another week has gone by. I’m not sure what I should do. Should I wait to see if he contacts me? Should I assume “he’s just not that into me?" Should I drop him a brief, but friendly e-mail saying that I’m back from vacation and just wondering if he’d still like to get together?

One of my girlfriends said I should just be patient and wait. He does have 3 young kids and things may be really busy since school just started. Two other friends thought I should go ahead and e-mail before he forgets what I look like and because “life is short.” What would you advise in this situation?

Thanks,–Lady in waiting


Dear Lady in Waiting,

Normally I prefer to have men do the reaching out. And he did that one time, but then hasn’t followed through. Who knows why – his reasons probably have nothing to do with you.
The Situation AnalysisFor all we know one of his kids got sick, he met someone else, or he’s working on getting his corporate taxes done – they’re due soon. It’s anyone guess. I do feel that this is a sign – because you want a man who can follow through – who seeks you out and wants to date you. On the other hand, people do get busy and then after not calling, sometimes a guy feels too embarrassed to reconnect. Maybe he lost your number – oh no, sounds like we’re making excuses for him now – that’s not good.

The Advice This fits the “What the heck?” category. You liked him and hate to let this go. I understand. What the heck? Send him an email. Go for it! The last thing you want is to wish you had just sent him an email. Not a regret worth creating.

So go ahead. Send him a friendly email. You can either just say "Hi, how are you? I’m back from vacation." Or if you can handle the possible rejection, suggest getting together to do one of the activities you have in common, without picking a specific time – just ask about over the next week. There’s really no big downside to doing this.

The Fine Print What I encourage women to AVOID is making the first move more than once because it will become a habit and ultimately you could waste a lot of time and heart on a guy who’s just curious or flattered by your pursuit, but not that interested.

Sending a friendly nudge is not a bad thing to do, so do it right now after reading this. Then move on to think about something or someone else. It’s a big world out there and there are plenty of fish. Don’t get stuck on one lone sole when there’s a whole school swimming by.

Lots of Love,Ronnie - The Dating Coach

To get f*r*e*e advice on 10 Reasons Why Women Should Never Pay on the First Date, visit www.NeverTooLate.biz Check out the book MANifesting Mr. Right: It’s Never Too Late to Find the Love You Want by Dating Coach and expert Ronnie Ann Ryan at www.ManifestingMrRight.com and for daily dating advice, visit the blog
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Creative Dating Ideas For Your Male Date

Ladies, creative dating ideas need not be as difficult as you may think for you to come up with. Guys are simple creatures by nature. Do not think for one minute that I mean that they are stupid or are a lower life form. I mean, they are not as emotional as women are and this makes for a much simpler time of coming up with straightforward ideas for dates.

Remember that the way you treat them is the way they are more inclined to treat you. Do not wait for them to come up with creative ideas, just show them that you care about them and can be fun. Be sure not to hurt the ego by being too forceful with this as some guys can take offense to a girl being totally in control all the time. Make sure that you keep him in mind at all times during the planning process. This is not about what you like and is about showing him that he is so special to you and that you are willing to put some of your wants aside for him. Respecting him will be the biggest way for you to keep him interested and feeling like the top man in your life. He will only have eyes for you.

There are a ton of creative dating ideas that do not take a lot of effort or money to achieve. To plan a special date for your man, you must first look at his personality. Not all guys like football or basketball. He may like to read or listen to music. If he does, a sporting event will not be the way to go with the date. You might find that a good dating idea for the two of you is to spend an evening in a coffee shop listening to a poetry session instead of watching a sweaty basketball game. Gauge the guy and try to fit your date around his personality.

Say your guy likes the sports scene, but you do not have the amount of money it takes to buy those major tickets. The perfect idea is to find out what little league sports are going on in your area. It may not be a professional game, but he will love you for your consideration towards him. A community game is just as good as a professional game, and in fact can allow for a more personal experience. Before you know it, you will be cheering them on as loud as their family members will.

Another idea for being creative is to consider giving him a day with his pals without you and then meeting him later that day. This lets him know that you are not a clingy person, respect his individualism, and expect the same from him. Get in touch with a few of his friends and set up something for them to enjoy that you know he will like. Tell the guys where he will be and after they have had their outing, they can bring him to a designated spot for a nice dinner. This will be very special for him and he will not forget it.

Ladies, remember, guys want to be treated specially, just like you. They want to be treated with respect and made to feel as special as you do. They may be unique in other ways, but when you take their feelings into consideration and plan for them only, they will love it.

Everyone appreciates their partner taking the time to devise creative dating ideas. This proves to them that you were thinking of them only and really considered their feelings. This is a great way to have a good date, win his heart over and have a long relationship. The more fun you can have and personalized the dates, the better your overall relationship will become.

Lee Blackspur is the owner of My-Dating-Advice.com which provides online and offline dating tips, advice and articles for men, women and teens of all ages and experience.
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