The underlying cause for the break up of any relationship is the lack of ability to sustain a lasting relationship on the part of one or both of the people involved. The basic underlying cause of this inability is immaturity. To be mature as a human being means one is, fully developed as a person and in a state of readiness to pursue something of value. A mature person has reached a plateau from where one sees self in relationship to others. He or she possesses the qualities needed to build a relationship based on common interests and possesses the willingness to grow and expand ones knowledge of self and another. A mature person seeks a relationship, in which he or she can love another with an uncompromising love. To seek a relationship is to seek someone to love, when seeking a relationship has as its goal, "to be loved" the relationship is already on a rocky path. Reconciliation may not be a wise pursuit.
The mature person refuses to be an enabler and refuses from the beginning to compromise in order to gain the love of another. We sometimes call love, physical attraction and attention from another, but this is not Love, often it is under the pretense of gaining love. When someone says, I love you; this may or may not be a true statement, although both parties may believe it at the time, because they unconsciously or even consciously crave love. This statement may simply mean I like the feeling I get when you ..., whatever it is you do for him or her. Those relationships in which both persons have reached a level of maturity, which allows them to communicate effectively in word, deed and moments of silence, are lasting relationships.
In considering, whether you should pursue rebuilding a broken relationship with an ex-wife or ex girlfriend, consider honestly the type of relationship you had. When is the last time you and your ex glanced across a crowded room and in that brief eye encounter both knew this as an exchange of mutual love. When wa the last time you said to your ex: "don't plan on cooking tonight I am taking you someplace special for dinner and then to the theater"?. When is the last time your ex did something really, special for you just because of her love for you? How often have you proven your love simply by cleaning off the dinner table and sharing chores just to spend time in her presence? When is the last time your ex came and sat down beside you while you were watching a football game just to be with you, although she dislikes football? Was your relationship a mature relationship?
Copyright 2007 - Andres Berger gives advice on How To Get Back With Ex and also operates a very popular newsletter on How To Get Your Ex Back
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Andres_Berger
Sunday, September 9, 2007
How To Get Back With Ex - Maturity Matters
Friday, September 7, 2007
An Idiot's Guide To Dating
If there's one thing that shows someone up as an idiot, it's their dating manner. Dating is quite a complicated process, and you really need to understand the woman or man you're pursuing in order to make the most of the experience. Whether you're looking for a long term partner or not, it's important to remember that dating can go very wrong, and can ruin your chances with a person forever.
For that reason, it's worthwhile taking a look through this basic idiot's guide, to make sure you don't fall for some of the classic dating blunders that many have tried and failed in the past.Unfortunately, there is no set out procedure for dating, and there is no way we can be sure that we're doing things correctly.
The best way to master dating is to experience it first hand, and to think about what you're saying and doing, and the way this will be interpreted by the other party. Confidence is important, but arrogance is catastrophic, and it is important to remember not to over-sell yourself to your would-be partner. Dating anyone should start off like meeting someone for the first time, or like chatting to a friend. Any undercurrent of further intentions could be good enough to ruin things, although it may be acceptable to make minor physical contact with your date towards the end of the evening.A good deal of value is attached to integrity in dating, and you should try not to give off the impression that you are an untrustworthy or sinister character. It is important also not to play the joker card, but to focus on being charming and witty as the mood requires. Most of all, try to relax in the company of your date and try to be yourself. There's no point in trying to live up to someone's expectations – if you can't act naturally around them, there really can be no long-term hope. All in all, try to avoid coming across as a sleazy individual, and you shouldn't expect affection or adoration immediately from your partner. Act courteously and politely, and try to make a good impression of yourself short of coming across as a complete walkover. By playing by the rules of general manners and social skills, you should be able to communicate effectively with your date, which is the best way to secure a longer term romance.And that's pretty much all there is to it.
Although dating isn't a fine art, there are a few obvious ways in which you can help make the right impression for you, to give you the best possible chance of success with your chosen partner. Remember, it's all about being yourself and allowing your true personality to shine through – after all, if you're looking for someone long term, you need to be able to act comfortable around them. Provided you relax, and stick within the boundaries of manners and etiquette, your dating should work out well and provide you with the best opportunity for a meaningful relationship.
Author BylineThe author Rebecca Walker writes articles for wetties. He also gives valuable information about free dating services make friends online, friend networking sharing, free social networks & find a friend service, make friends & love online.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Add Trust To Your Relationship
Trust is something that is important to every single relationship you have. No matter if it is a relationship of friends, family, or even a relationship of lovers; trust must be there to make it successful. So, if you are noticing a lack of trust within your relationship, how can you get trust back into your relationship? How can trust be incorporated into your life, daily? How can you trust if you’ve been hurt in relationships before?
It is hard to add trust into a relationship that is already damaged. But, it is necessary in the most immediate way. Relationships are built on qualities like trust. If the trust in your relationship is week, chances are good that the relationship will suffer in the long run. If you are constantly questioning or worry about your relationship, then you have no trust in your partner. If you trust in them, then you know that they have your best interests at their heart just as you do for them. You can learn more about this aspect by visiting http://www.getdatingtips.com.
To add trust to your relationship, you must first put aside your problems. You must push aside all the times that trust ended up hurting you. Instead, put your trust into your relationship anyway. Even if you are worried that trusting someone will end up hurting you, you still have to give the opportunity to them to prove you wrong. If you are in a relationship where you have given trust and not received trust, then you are in a failing relationship. Unless you commit to trusting each other 100%, you will not succeed in your relationship. And, in the end, if that trust is getting abused and taken advantage of, then, you shouldn’t be in that relationship. If you give, so much your partner give in a relationship.
S A Baker is staff writer at http://www.getdatingtips.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=S._A._Baker
